ambiguous

AMBIGUITY
didnt I say I would not support translucence anymore! esp in relationships? transparency of the complications at hand is better than translucence of unknown pleasantries.

I am having a hard time with the word "respect". Do I respect the dynamics of the present moment, OR do I respect an agreement made in the past or do I respect my constant state of flux? How can I be cognizent of all three states of time and provide any sort of justice?

am I saying too much
or am i saying nothing at all?
do i abask in this ambiguity
or do i let it abraid my esoteric state OF
not wanting to know
OF
not wanting to look deeper
OF
not wanting to be true
OF
not wanting more
OF
not wanting less
OF
not NOT wanting
yeah.. NOT NOT WANTING. That does sum it up to some extent. If faced with a contradiction, Rand suggests we check our premises, coz one of them is wrong.
It always begins this way. With basiation. I choose the word..rather the phrase "Experiential lover" to describe the way my body responds to hers. i Learn as I go. And at some point the mind takes over the body and the lines blurrrrr and getting lost becomes an inviting option. Getting lost in the moment- becomes an invitation to be brigued by her in ways that are less acceptable to her wishes and expectations.
How does one control the flow of the mind? Ok. Yes I can do it if I need to. But how will it modify me, as a person? Do I let my thoughts lie low or do I urge the latent thoughts surface in your presence? How long can I hold back to ensure I stick to our premise? Are we faced with a juxtaposition or a contradiction? Neither is wrong since NO ONE is judging.

The young lotus told the frog on a misty day by the pond.."I like you. Yes. And do I keep liking you? Am I an object of desire or intrigue, or do I feel wholesome in your arms? Am I a distraction or a watering hole for your procrastination? What are you to me- is a fair question. You have no name or definition. And you are definitely changing the space you hold in my mind. We create an alloy everytime we meet and I barely have time to marage it before we re-create. I do not know what you are and I am comfortable with that. I can let it be. Cha!"

The frog did not respond since the frog did not speak the same language. umph!