you know what?

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you want life to stop going so slow? Its not necessary that such a phase has to be preceded by a 1000 sad songs or.. a heart break or ... January in the winter. It can happen even on a busy day when you have to make it across the street in 10 seconds but you know it takes 20, or when you need to still shave your legs and your girlfriend is coming over any time now, or if you work in a zoo as the chick who feeds the lions and has 5 minutes to put the raw meat in the cage before the automatic gate allows the lions back in.

I feel like that.

I feel more things..

like

- I cliff jumped into a river only to find a full on Jazz festival in show and the stand up base beckoned me and just when i got close, the base grew hands and embraced me and ...we danced all night

- the pigeons muttering in a cage and waiting to fly in the sky amongst kites

- a handglove

- a flying pollen wandering in air to settle on a flower

- a not so rusty axe waiting to be used to cut the flowers

- a segment of a pommegranate dripping red

- a child who is not yet an adult

- an adult who is not yet an adult

- a guardian of broken glass and orange popscicles

- a heavy feeling, right where my biology teacher said the chest is

- and ya.. like i got kissed by a million butterflies and they disappeared right after

- like they disappeared right after

- disappeared right after

- right after

- hmmm

i feel a lot. yes. and it looks like i donot like to spare myself any pain that is going on its own way, minding its own .. you know.. doing its thing. I seem to befriend it and let it affect me. I am very friendly. yes. Thats what my mother told me. She said "sahana, you are a very friendly girl." Try saying that with an East Indian accent. ya? fun fun. indeed. I am also hell bent on learning the ways of the world in a gap of 2 years. Oh yess. I seem to think that after these two excruciating years I can embark on this epic journey where I will know all there is to know. No more surprises. Yes, this is coming from a girl who used to thrive on surprises. Even if I had had a rough day with my ex-husband who had probably taken a few swings at me, I would look forward to the next morning when I could surprise a friend coz its her birthday. I loved surprises. My mother agreed. She said "sahana, you like surprises." Did you try saying that with an East Indian accent? fun eh?

So this epic journey has already began and i will always be surprised whether i want it or not and i will always continue to learn.

i know what?