Touched by Thatha

Down to the village I went... after 12 long years. How could I let time elapse when time does wait for none.

Words that wormed their way into my mind...(spoken in Kannada)

"I knew you were Annaiappa's grandaugter as soon as I saw you, and Parameswara's daughter!"

"How are your parents, how is your mother?"

"Are you Shivanna's daughter? oh ofcourse you are!"

"I came by and watched you sit with your friends, and I recognized you right away."

"I do not think you remember me, you were a child when I saw you last"

"I cannot recognize you now. As a child you like to flail your arms and play."

"I am your grandmother's good friend."

"We would be lost without your great-grandmother. She said we would have a house, and now
we do."

"This herd of goats that you see.. well your great grandma gave us the very first one- a she-goat- and look, now we have this whole herd. May she rest in peace."

"Please aunty, come play with us."

"Sahana aunty, why not wait until Monday? Leave Monday morning, and that way we can play with you on the weekend. During the week days we have to go to school!!"

"We like your friends. They are so nice."

"It is sad to see you remember us after so long."

"When will you come next?"

"When will you come again?"

"Why not stay longer? How are two days supposed to matter in the long run. Come on stay. Or atleast promise that your next stay, whenever it is, is longer!!"

"Who are these girls? Where did you bring them from?"

"Look how white she is."

"Is that a woman or a man? Either way... a strong person."

"You have grown so tall!"

"Stay longer..."

"Do you really have to get back to Bangalore right away."

tears.. hugs.. heartache..

On the way back, I stopped at my grandmother's village. I am surprised by the emotions of my grandmother's brother and his wife. Both in their 80's, and I still remember them as active and vibrant. I respond but let the response be masked by "ohh that must be sand in my eyes". I am surprised by my emotions as well. There is no need for surprise.

My grandfather looms in the distant distance. I have never known him. I have not known a grandfather. I strongly believe I am missing out. And.. I have this fascination for my grandfather and I imagine him to embody a part of me that I donot see in any other relative. Maybe I am wrong... but I cannot shake away the thought that he and I are connected. On teh drive back it made sense. My need to go to the village, to spend a night in the family home, the urge to touch the walls and let my fingers trail on a wall his probably trailed on.. to walk the path he laid out.. hmm I feel this connection that is now connected. I do not know how long it will last but I know I want to know him.

P.S. Every time I responded the "when will you be back..." question with next yera or soon or next time, I received an ambigous "RIght!" Made me laugh everytime.